“How are you feeling, Darling?”

-Blackadder

“I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there are all”

-Goo Goo Dolls, Here Is Gone

Ya’ know, our daily disheveled clambering through this tar pit of “oh, you thought yesterday was fucked up? Wait’ll you see tomorrow!” has got me frantically spinning in some peyote-ridden horror-waltz, catching flashes of peripheral shit-your-pants, while Meg Mucklebones and Darkness dance circles around me like some laughably-grotesque hysterical-delusion.

The exhaustion of our cyclical horror-history’s heavy as hell and paying attention is hard.

I’ve been trying to write lately, seriously, especially after my re-read of the Hunger Games last year while discovering Tender’s “Go Steady,” coincidently both during the yet unresolved Epstein “What the actual fuck is going on?!” So, these writings—some eleven pages of disorganized thoughts on child-predation, pulling from my own experiences as a child targeted by adult family-friends (a man and a woman), and three essays on “we’re in a toxic relationship with so many individual components of society at the moment, we need to break up with them, and severing ties with abusive manipulators is a healthy and natural first step”—are shelved until I can just think for ten fucking seconds; Jesus Fucking Christ.

“Is this a holy thing to see,
In a rich and fruitful land[…]”

-William Blake, Holy Thursday

“Here shines the sun of a lower god […]
Here burns the light for the blind world […]
Here burns the bright torch of soul […]
Here reigns thy mighty crown of thorns […]”

-Rotting Christ, Sanctus Diavolos

“Some people […] say: ‘Hey, don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever because this is just a ride.’ And WE  . . . kill those people. ‘Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up!’”

-Bill Hicks

My Everyman’s William Blake: Poems and Prophecies’s still a top-shelf book for me, even though I haven’t read from it in many a long time. It was Rotting Christ who help me really Feel Blake’s words over just reading them. The Sanctus Diavolos guitar solo is my favorite of any and in it I feel the desperately hopeless hypocrisy-exposé as our divine society, wealthy and able, disregards the suffering of others, discarding them to Lang’s Moloch, or, as in our now-unfolding horrorscape, grotesquely mistreating them, adult and children alike, and transporting them to some ethnically random international detention center. This seems to apply to not only the undocumented, but citizens—ill children, veterans, partners . . . and if you interfere? EXECUTION.

Keith Porter Jr.

Renee Good

Alex Pretti

Nearly a dozen individuals killed now [8 or 9 In 2026 alone (it’s January)], disappeared or imprisoned children chanting: “let us out,” repeatedly raped detainees, or how about a deported caregiver whose son dies from a rare illness his father had managed for Years, or permanently blinded or deafened protesters . . . all justifiable?

“I know I’m supposed to feel sorry for Alex Pretti, but I don’t. I don’t. Do you know why I wasn’t shot by Border Patrol this weekend? Because I kept my ass inside and out of their operations. It’s very simple.”

-Megyn Kelly

Are we great yet?

“I’m checkin’ my chest, holdin’ my head
Catchin’ my breath, watchin’ my back
Smokin’ this grass, beatin’ my dick, thinkin’ of ass
I don’t know what they broadcast, the newsflash is fake
Every day, I’m feelin’ like you, I wanna escape
And if y’all niggas feelin’ like me, y’all niggas should say [MT]

My country shitted on me (my country)
She wants to get rid of me (naw, never)
‘Cause the things I seen (we know too much)
‘Cause the things I seen (we seen to much)” [N]

-Nas & Millenium Thug, My Country

Never forget Trump’s desire to shit on his political opponents—he’s using his Gestapo to do just that now. Ah, the Gestapo.

Remember, whenever you’re like . . . ten, and you first encounter The Holocaust . . . the Nazification of Germany seems so staggeringly improbable, right(?) . . . like, beyond unreasonable . . . confusing even. How did they get there?

How did We get Here?

Well, how ‘bout a little story to begin answering that, which I’ll deliver with hopeful brevity (prob not tho)?

November, 1918 and beyond.

The scapegoating campaign employed by Germany after the first World War encouraged citizens, who’d been successfully mislead into believing their military had endured the horrors of war without defeat, to accept a broad host of many responsible for Germany’s loss. The war weary citizenry among the accused, to be sure . . . BUT, the primary scapegoats were the saboteurs who’d “stabbed” the soldiers “in the back,” hoping to weaken Germany by establishing a republic (which some contemporary Americans will tell you is totally not a type of democracy, while political scientists will word salad themselves to: “it’s nuanced.” Thankfully, Greece’s Hellenic Republic is pronounced Elliniki Dimokratia to resolve these etymological quagmires for us) and seizing power for themselves.

But, as conspiracies so conveniently often are, this “stabbed in the back” mythos was so malleable that it inevitably lent its clutches to wide reuse. Originally, the Social Democratic, German Democratic, and Centre parties, which would make up the Weimar Coalition, in addition to the Communist Party, were primary targets, but any and all undesirables were eventually tethered together as the list of November Criminals broadened. Of course, perpetuating a domestic citizen opposition to the war as cause for defeat, which the US did after Vietnam, couldn’t endure as the eventually-enveloped German Peoples Party and the National Socialists required the assimilation of German citizens while convincing them of their populism. So, the conspirators naturally included the above parties, lefties, jews, gypsies, Jesuits, homosexuals, and whoever else the Nazis would come to believe wanted to deliberately weaken Germany, which is always what people who live in a country want to do, right (duh)? Quite, and establishing a loyal, paramilitary combat-force to dehumanize the “enemy” and ensure these ends manifest is the next step.

“You are here because the outside world rejects you. This is your family. I am your father. I want you all to become full members of The Foot. There is a new enemy—freaks of nature—who interfere with our business. You are my eyes and ears. Find them. Together we will punish these creatures.”

-The Shredder, Ninja Turtles (1990)

“’Cause we have a nice little database . . . and now you’re considered a domestic terrorist.”

-Ice Agent, when asked why he’s filming a protestor

The early aggressors of this effort were the Sturmabteilung—virulent right-wing stormtrooper antagonizers of the movement, commonly called the Brownshirts. Co-founded and lead by Ernst Rohm—a to-some-extent openly homosexual early ally of Hitler’s—as the Gymnastics and Sports Division, the Brownshirts recruited by targeting disaffected young men—angry, unemployed or economically-unstable, personally-disillusioned, right-wing gang affiliated, or otherwise rejected and/or marginalized. The organization provided an outlet for German men who felt stabbed in the back by lefties and outsiders to channel their violence toward their opponents while providing a sense of belonging—a surrogate family of sorts, like Shredder’s The Foot.

Starting to sound familiar?

Back then, terms like “Cultural Bolshevism” helped ideologically villainize progressively altruistic individuals, similarly to Jordan Peterson’s “Cultural Marxism,” to turn outcasted young men against the very individuals fighting for a freedom these men had resolved to extinguish once realizing it applied to all—think of who they hate and you’ll see how suffering the freedom of others is simply intolerable for them. We want Them to have Healthcare, housing, education, and food . . . they want Us to die.

And, sure, there’s a bit of reluctant condemnation seething from the fascist propagandists, but it’s performative and optical-preservation. There’ll be no legitimate criticism, nor an actual policy reposition. So, if you’re wondering where the “Don’t tread on me” people; 2nd, 4th, and 1st Amendment advocates; January 6ers; and Small-Government supporters have been hiding during all this are, or at the very least, why they’re so uneasy to champion protesting . . . just be honest with yourself about what they want to accomplish, and where the previously “standing by” paramilitary groups of disillusioned sociopaths probably are. They want a civil war. They want to eliminate the “enemy.” So, they either Are ICE or support the murders—that’s Their “side,” and they can’t defend their previous positions regarding freedom, protest, and firearms because then they’d be supporting the enemy, which they simply Will Not Do.

“The 2nd Amendment is not there to hunt deer, it’s not even there for family home protection, nor is it there for target practice. It’s there if, god forbid, ever, the government got so tyrannical, OR some power within your country got so powerful (not necessarily a government)—It could be a gang, it could be a cartel, it could be a paramilitary group, it could be chaos—that you have to be able to protect yourself against a more powerful organization. That’s why we have the 2nd Amendment.”

-Charlie Kirk

“So, Ladies and Gentlemen, please, let’s get loud . . . for Kyle Rittenhouse.[…]Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!”

-Charlie Kirk

*Que the dubstep, just like Erika Kirk’s rage-baiting, funeral-turned-Reichsparteitag, fake-Christian, theocratic hate-fest.

Even though Charlie Kirk’s reasons for topical silence are unfortunately obvious at the moment (Erika seems positively traumatized), it’s still mostly crickets from everyone else like him.

The sophomoric Libertarians and hypocritical “Fiscally-minded” Small Government Republicans have long been swallowed by Maga like the German Peoples Party’s absorption by the Nazis in the early 1930’s. Few will lend their voices to oppose the overreach and violence. I just don’t know how we can rope them back into reality.

Now, Post-WW2 Nazi Germany “De-Nazified” with obvious success, but it was a complex and arduous process. The United States barely held the Confederacy Accountable (which I’ve discussed HERE for May the 4th), half-heartedly addressed our historic ethnic injustices, pardoned the January 6ers, and continues to champion right-wing violence, so some semblance of reintegration will be challenging for both sides.

This is where we are. And I thought I’d detoxed.

Forreal.

I spent a bunch of last year discarding local and digital toxicity. I cut off any I considered progressively aggressively ideologically immoral, which worsened further or expedited appropriately after I watched Adolescence (which I’ve discussed-ish before HERE last year). Adolescence prompted a deep-dive into the red-pill/manosphere online community, which I was marginally familiar with (the Andrew Tates and such), as we all kind of are, and ended up watching content, made by men and women alike, heralding some Christo-fascist utopia. Wild, I know, but even after this deep-dive, armed with the coded rhetoric of Incel, Christian, and Pick-me hate, I continued robust-adjacent social-circle participation amid those I considered acceptably “just conservative,” or reasonable enough to communicate a more broadly humanitarian and/or equity-driven inclusive altruism. But the newfound bravery to wear one’s hate on their tongue, especially in my area, just empowered these bigots to let their secretly hateful perspectives fly free. And the shock that the ones you care about are actually quite awful is astonishingly challenging to compartmentalize.

This communicable normalization of confident hate-mongering and crafty dog-whistling manifests now as publicly-proud fascism. I heard both the regurgitated authoritarian, patriarchal, misogynistic, white-supremacist, homophobic, xenophobic, ideologically-exclusive brainwashed propaganda we all know And the very coded rhetoric I’d only just discovered literally overflow like a torrent of rancid tar from the newly-empowered mouths of people I’d known for DECADES! They’re all watching the same Handmaids Tale propaganda dogshit . . . and . . . they’re all finding it compelling. Ten minutes of Nick Fuentes labelling heterosexual intercourse as homosexual, vilifying sex-workers, justifying murder with sexual orientation, and redefining pedophilia while championing “America First” by encouraging the imprisonment or violent annihilation of the left for his preferred Catholic shit-topia will likely be enough for you to realize just how gone these people really are—tangled in their supernatural justifications to oppress, traffic, and rape women and children, murder the opposition, and secretly stuff fat dicks down their throats the way they stuff their mythology down ours. And, of course, they make no secret of their hate or predatory perversions:

“I’m a Catholic. I love everybody.”

“These people that are suppressing the name Christ and suppressing Christianity, they must be absolutely annihilated when we take power.”

“The reason that people have negative attitudes about black people is because most peoples’ interactions with black people are negative.”

“I wish there was a zombie apocalypse so we could kill George Floyd two times.”

“Hitler was a pedophile and kind of a pagan. It’s like, well, he was also really fuckin’ cool.”

“Sometimes you gotta be the villain. Epstein’s my boy, dude. Let’s just be honest: Epstein was cool as fuck.”

“It’s not really pedophilia, ok. They weren’t trafficking 5-year-olds, it’s like they were technically not legal [talking about 15-year-olds].”

-Nick Fuentes (every one)

“He was into the barely legal type. He liked 15 year old girls […she realizes what she’s saying is disgusting, but continues…] He wasn’t into, like, 8-year-olds, but he liked the very young teen types that could pass for even younger than they were, but would look legal to a passerby. […] I think there is a difference—there’s a difference between a 15-year-old and a 5-year-old.”

-Megyn Kelly

So, all these people you’ve known forever, who chit-chat like all’s well, justifying worsening horrors, driving you insane . . . This Is What They Want! And I understand, they’re not all Nick Fuentes and Megyn Kelly, but they quietly, or secretly, share their perspective, or at least disregard it to an end, and are growing sufficiently confident/comfortable to voice those perspectives and/or justifications. Fundamentally, though, you just don’t magically become that kind of hateful all of a sudden. It’s not some rapidly epiphanous self-discovery. You have to have secretly been that way for a long, long time. And, of course, as awful as it feels to accept that about those you love, convincing yourself to accept the orbit of a narcissist in a relationship of any kind is profoundly damaging to your psychological well-being. You have to remove them from your familial, social, and romantic realities—like a cancer . . . which is what they are.

Now, I’ve been the removed familial, social, and romantic toxic component in my youth, and while those deep recollections ever burden my hopefully evaporating hyperthymesia, the accompanying ego death can just as easily breathe life into self-betterment as it can churn into a violent descension. We can only hope that as we abandon these Now-Literal-Nazis, who seem to support executing citizens for exercising the very rights they’ve long claimed to champion, and as the rest of the world leaves us behind, they will begin to Wake The Fuck Up! Being hateful won’t get them into the Ultra-Wealthy Elite Club for International Looters and Rapists. The elite hate their base as their base hates the “others,” because to them, their base are the others . . . and they’re usefulness extends no further than that weaponizable fears and hatred the elite can use to oppress, loot, destroy, and repeat however many times we allow it.

“It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it.”

-George Carlin

“Fire and tears enlighten my world
This world dressed in fear
Awe the emotions of wrath
Behold the serpent’s fear”

-Rotting Christ, Lex Talionis

“Good luck everyone.”

-Blackadder

Aftercare: There, there. I know. Just breathe. Let’s come at this from a slightly different perspective, shall we, where the similarities remain discernably foreign. What do we mean when we say: “Nazi Germany”? Well, that The Country IS The Party. Thankfully, “Maga America” continues to elude an equivalent global, or all-encompassing domestic, vernacular . . . but possibly not for long. Nevertheless, the rapidity of unifying class-solidarity amid the more-than-ever obvious bipartisan economic oppression, The Catholic Church’s desperation to “get it right this time,” even if just to salvage their mythology for perpetuity, the continuation of good ol’ American pop-culture, global connectivity, and our historic resiliency will likely waver much more reluctantly than the easily-fooled and hateful among us have. Sure, the United States ultimately offers little beyond its existence and could theoretically be gradually forgotten and left behind, as implied by Mark Carney. The world may yet abandon the Dollar as the global reserve currency and international gold reclamation’s gaining traction. But the United States is still a major global exporter of goods—2nd largest after China, for now, if I’m not mistaken. Our economy will likely take a Great-Depression-adjacent hit (I know), and the dollar’s devaluation could be totally deliberate for the cancerous ultra-capitalistic Maga party-members to gobble up their stolen loot and flee to their 3rd world compounds. We’ve got Measles outbreaks, 2020 GA (my state) ballot raiding’s happening now (I’m an election worker so Nov. aughta be interesting), our consumer-based economy’s ability to broadly consume’s ever waning, and maybe the AI bubble’s finally bursting (and hopefully the malignant data-centers with it), I have no idea about Crypto (I’ll have to ask my crypto friend . . . we all have one) and as our economic pressure diminishes, this Administration may fallback on our military pressure. Look, I get it—I’m physically sick to my stomach, nauseous, and ill daily . . . I can’t even think anymore. They’re hateful, violent, pedophile rapists without any sense or morality or empathy. BUT this Administration Will Eventually End (even if they manage to rig ’26 And ’28 . . . although, at this rate, they’ll have to over-rig any sway their way), maybe even a generation from now, and if Nazi Germany can De-Nazify, then so can we. Remember, The New Deal came After The Gilded Age and Great Depression. Plus, we still make some of the best music and films Earth has to offer. In the meantime: Stand up, be loud, embrace your humanity (a weapon unique to our “side”), and feel inspired.

“Drifting through this boundlessness
This madness of our own making
Sound our dire reveille
Rouse all from our apathy
Lest we
Cease to be
Stir us from our
Wanton slumber
Mitigate our ruin
Call us all to arms and order”

-Tool, Descending

“This goes out to Che Guevara
A revolutionary destroyed by his country
Just tryna to fight for what’s real
This goes out to my nigga’, Malcom El-Hajj Malik Shabazz
Just tryna fight for what’s real
This goes out to Martin
All about peace and destroyed by his own country
This goes out to everybody in the whole world
Just tryna fight for what’s real
To Patrice Lumumba
Just tryna fight for what’s real and destroyed by his own people
This goes to my hood nigga’s
Coming up every day just tryna survive . . . the only way we know how
But see, we know too much now, and we seen too much now
So ain’t nothin’ gon’ stop us now
To my country” [-N]

-Nas & Millennium Thug, My Country

These Rotting Christ, Tool, Nas, and Goo Goo Dolls songs are absolute masterpieces, Go Steady’s a great song too, The 1990 Ninja Turtles film is the best movie ever made, Idiocracy’s a critically hilarious treasure of depression-fuel, Metropolis’s far-and-away the best silent film, William Blake’s a hauntingly contemplative poet and prophet, The Hunger Games are Annual Re-reads for me now, Blackadder’s easily the best Britcom, George Carlin is untouchable, and Bill Hicks was leagues ahead of his time, so, seriously folks, enjoy your pop-culture, in whatever flavors you delight (Chill out, I know these aren’t all domestic).

“Feel he rhythm
To feel connected
Enough to step aside and
Weep like a widow
To feel inspired
To fathom the power
To witness the beauty
To bathe in the fountain
To swing on the spiral (x3)
Of our divinity and
Still be a human”

-Tool, Lateralus

“For where-e’er the sun does shine,
And where-e’er the rain does fall:
Babe can never hunger there,
Nor poverty the mind appall.”

-William Blake, Holy Thursday

“And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn’t just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!”

-Idiocracy

Alright, I’m done . . . cheers. ;P

-Matt

*Every conservative quoted in this essay is a “Christian” (well, I dunno about the ICE agent). Gotta love the demonic duality of religious-conservative death-cult hatred.

**Title quote’s from Idiocracy